Category Archives: Humor

The quality animals are deprived from…and the serious sick people, too!

7 reasons not to mess with children.! هفت لطیفه در مورد خرد کودکان

Jay Baba, this email just came from Iran.
In these ‘pre-war’ days, could be a bit useful to be happy.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to

swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him “.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

“They will, in a minute.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to “honour” thy Father and thy Mother,
she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
“Thou shall not kill.”

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and

then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs!”

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was

trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
“And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”

“Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line,
at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

It doesn’t matter how many people you send this to, just

remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.

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George Carlin on religion/ ONLY for 18+ Mature ones!

Dear ALL
Jay baba…..found the following link , as usual, like to share it. Please note the SUBJECT above and if you do not qualify, please IGNORE this message.

i am NOT responsible for the language used! (although it is a common thing in American culture!) Yet for the FUN & truth of it, it is worth watching!

Just think, AFTER watching the show, that IF, this Man is a ‘baba-lover’. or NOT?! (NOT limiting Baba to His form, i mean i.e. Baba = TRUTH ) (even in some some unusual wrapping!)

Well, here you are, enjoy the show and PLEASE make sure you do not hold me responsible for his way of talking!)
(Puritans and Moralist are NOT to watch it!)

George Carlin on religion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzHlMs2rSIM

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Iran is a VERY strange country = ایران کشور عجیبیه

ایران کشور عجیبیه.میپرسید چرا؟ به این دلیل که:

Yes, Iran these days is a VERY strange country: Why? Because:

ایران تنها کشوری است که در آن سیاستمداران کار اقتصادی می کنند، شرکتهای اقتصادی کار سیاسی می کنند و نیروهای نظامی کار تولیدی می کنند!؟!

It is the ONLY country, in which the politicians do economical work, the economical entities do political work and the armed forces are involved in production!

یکی از بزرگترین صادرکنندگان نفت و یکی از بزرگترین واردکنندگان بنزین هستیم.

We are one of the biggest oil producing countries and one of the biggest importers of petroleum.

با اسرائیل دشمن هستیم ، اما نزدیکترین دوستمان رئیس جمهور ونزوئلا با چند میلیارد دلار قرار داد نظامی ، یکی از نزدیکترین دوستان اسرائیل به شمار می آید!؟

We are ‘enemies’ to Israel, but the president of Venezuela, who has military contracts worth billions of dollars with Israel, is the closest friend of our president!

برای مسلمانان لبنان خودمان را هلاک می کنیم ، پول می فرستیم،دعا ئshy;واله می کنیم . اما هیچ خبری از مسلمانان چچن نمی گیریم.

We kill ourselves for the Moslems in Lebanon, send them money and pray for them, but we do not ask or care for the Moslems in Chechen.

از هر 1000 مفسد اقتصادی یکی و از هر 1000 فعال سیاسی 999 نفر در زندان داریم!!

One out of 1000 of the economical criminals, and 999 out of 1000 political activist are in prison.

توی همه جای دنیا آثار باستانی را از زیر آب در میارن ، توی ایران می برند زیر آب !؟

In the rest of the world, they take the ancient archaeological constructions OUT of the water, in Iran, they drown them in water.

در ایران دانشجوها توی کتابخانه آشنا می شن ، توی پارک درس می خونن، سر کلاس می خوابن!؟!

In Iran, the students meet in the libraries, study in public parks and sleep at the classes.

اینجا همه خودشان را فوق العاده جدی می دانند اما همه همدیگر را مسخره می کنند

In Iran, everybody take him/herself very seriously, but they all make fun of each other!

زندگی هرکس تا آن اندازه خصوصی است که استعداد فضولی مردم به آن نتواند نفوذ یابد!؟

Private life of an individual is as private, as to be kept safe from the talent of people to penetrate it!

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2007 and Iranian people suffering by the stupid ones!

The cartton is posted above!!!

Jay Baba all… Merry His birthday…..wonderful times here in Meherabad, in various aspects…..Thanks to The Captain……wish had more time to write more….. the following is a post i HAD TO WRITE, about my other blog (NewTune4NewMan) (someone is posting there, not me!) and before that, i post this cartoon which is very FRESH, for the season….. As i read the news, 2007 will be a ‘tough’ time for Iranians in Iran, the sanctions will make people suffer MORE than now….This cartoon expresses how some ‘stupid’ people can make others suffer….
Jay Baba

who is posting here?

Jay Baba, PLEASE! i did not post the previous post EITHER!!! Strange, even when i changed the password, still SOMEONE out there can post into this blog, WITHOUT my permission and consent! Please do not do so!
Thank you!

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در باره ازدواج = On marriage by famous people

Jay Baba, since the ‘game’ is over now (until they do not mess with me again!), i have time for other things! The following was received by Jamile Jaan again this morning! Funny and factual words on ‘marriage’, which i like to write on it more and more!
در باره ازدواج
1- با ازدواج، مرد روي گذشته اش خط مي كشد و زن روي آينده اش (سينكالويس)
۲- ازدواج كنيد، به هر وسيله اي كه مي توانيد. زيرا اگر زن خوبي گيرتان آمد بسيار خوشبخت خواهيد شد و اگر گرفتار يك همسر بد شويد فيلسوف بزرگي مي شويد. ( سقراط)
۳- قبل از رفتن به جنگ يكي دو بار و پيش از رفتن به خواستگاري سه بار براي خودت دعا كن . ( يكي از دانشمندان لهستاني )
۴- من تنها با مردي ازدواج مي كنم كه عتيقه شناس باشد تا هر چه پيرتر شدم، براي او عزيزتر باشم. ( آگاتا كريستي)
۵- زن ترجيح مي دهد با مردي ازدواج كند كه زندگي خوبي نداشته باشد، اما نمي تواند مردي را كه شنونده خوبي نيست، تحمل كن( كين هابارد)
۶- اصل و نسب مرد وقتي مشخص مي شود كه آنها بر سر مسائل كوچك با هم مشكل پيدا مي كنند. ( شاو)
۷- هيچ زني در راه رضاي خدا با مردي ازدواج نمي كند. ( ضرب المثل اسكاتلندي)
۸- دوام ازدواج يك قسمت روي محبت است و نُه قسمتش روي گذشت از خطا. ( ضرب المثل اسكاتلندي )
۹- زناشويي غصه هاي خيالي و موهوم را به غصه نقد و موجود تبديل مي كند. (ضرب المثل آلماني )
۱۰- ازدواج قرارداد دو نفره اي است كه درهمه دنيا اعتبار دارد. ( مارك تواين )
۱۱- قبل از ازدواج درباره تربيت اطفال شش نظريه داشتم، اما حالا شش فرزند دارم و داراي هيچ نظريه اي نيستم. ( لرد لوچستر)
۱۲- ازدواج پيوندي است كه از درختي به درخت ديگر بزنند، اگر خوب گرفت هر دو ” زنده ” مي شوند و اگر ” بد ” شد هر دو مي ميرند. ( سعيد نفيسي )
۱۳- ازدواج بيشتر از رفتن به جنگ ” شجاعت ” مي خواهد. ( كريستين )
۱۴- با همسر خود مثل يك رمان رفتار كنيد و فصل هاي خسته كننده او را اصلاً نخوانيد. ( سوني اسمارت)
۱۵- ازدواج مثل اجراي يك نقشه جنگي است كه اگر در آن فقط يك اشتباه صورت بگيرد جبرانش غير ممكن خواهد بود. ( بورنز )

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statistic of world population / What a world….

jay Baba………long time, no post! Lot is happening, but the news will come LATER, not now! For now, will post this statistical report on population of the world and how ‘lucky’ we are if….. thank to Baba for being one of the ‘lucky ones’ and to Ali for sending this report: a summary in English is my share for my English-speaking readers/friends:

World population is now around 6.5 billion….if we reduce this figure to 100 people, what will happen?
از اين يکصد نفر جمعيت ؛ 57 نفر آسيايی ؛ 21 نفر اروپايی ؛ 14 نفر امريکايی ؛ و 8 نفر آفريقايی خواهند بود . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ 52 نفر زن ؛ و 48 نفر مرد خواهند بود . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ هفتاد نفر رنگين پوست و سی نفر سپيد پوست خواهند بود . از اين جمعيت يکصد نفری ؛ شش نفر از شهروندان امريکا ؛ 59 در صد ثروت دنيا را در اختيار خواهند داشت . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ هشتاد نفر زير خط فقر زندگی خواهند کرد . از اين جمعيت يکصد نفری ؛ هفتاد نفر بی سواد خواهند بود . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ پنجاه نفر با گرسنگی و بی غذايی دست به گريبان خواهند بود . يک نفر خواهد مرد . دو نفر به دنيا خواهند آمد . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ فقط يک نفر کامپيوتر خواهد داشت . از اين يکصد نفر ؛ فقط يک نفر دارای تحصيلات عاليه خواهد بود ..
و اما …..
Out of this 100 people, 57 would be Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 Americans and 8 Africans. Out of this 100, 52 will be females and 48 males…. 70 would be colored-skin and 30 would be white-skin…. 6 will be American citizens holding 59% of the world wealth….. 80 will be BELOW poverty line…. 70 will be illiterate…. 50 will be facing starvation….. Everyday, one will die and two will be born…. out of this 100 people, only ONE would have computer and only one will have higher education…… but…….
* – اگر شما امروز صبح ؛ صحيح و سالم از خواب بر خاستيد ؛ مطمئن باشيد که خوشبخت تر از يک ميليون انسانی هستيد که تا پايان همين هفته راهی گورستان خواهند شد . * – اگر شما هيچگاه از جنگ آسيب نديده ايد ؛ اگر گرفتار تنهايی مرگبار سلول های انفرادی نشده ايد ؛ اگر تن تان بر اثر شکنجه ؛ آش و لاش نشده است ؛ و اگر مزه تلخ گرسنگی را نچشيده ايد ؛ بدانيد که خوشبخت تر از پانصد ميليون نفر از انسان های روی زمين هستيد . * – اگر شما بدون هراس از شکنجه و مرگ ؛ وارد مسجدی ؛ کليسايی ؛ يا عبادتگاهی شديد ؛ خوشبخت تر از سه ميليون انسان کره زمين هستيد . * – اگر در يخچال خانه تان غذايی هست ؛ اگر کفش و لباس داريد ؛ اگر تختخوابی و سقفی داريد ؛ شما ثروتمند تر و خوشبخت تر از 75 درصد ساکنان کره زمين هستيد . *- اگر دارای حساب بانکی هستيد ؛ اگر در کيف شما پولی و در قلک شما سکه ای هست ؛ شما در زمره هشت در صد انسان های خوشبخت روی زمين هستيد .
If you have get up this morning, fine and healthy, BE SURE that you are luckier than 1000’000 people who will end up in grave-yards by the end of this week! If you have never suffered from wars and the deadly loneliness of the individual cell prison, if your body has not suffered from any torture and have never tasted the bitter hunger, KNOW WELL that you are luckier than 500’000’000 people on this earth……. if you have entered any church or temple, WITHOUT fear of torture and imprisonment, you are luckier than 3’000’000 people of this earth….. if you have a refrigerator at home, if you have shoes and clothing and a bed and a shelter over your head, you are wealthier and luckier than 75% of the population of the world….. if you have a bank account and have some money in your wallet and a few coins in your piggy-bank, you are among the lucky 8% of the people on this earth…… SO……
بنا بر اين :
*- آنچنان کار کن که انگار نيازی به پول نداری . *- آنچنان دوست بدار که انگار هيچگاه ؛ هيچکس ؛ آسيبی بتو نخواهد رساند . *- آنچنان برقص که انگار کسی تماشايت نمی کند . *- آنچنان آواز بخوان که انگار کسی نمی شنود . * – و آنچنان زندگی کن که انگار کره زمين ؛ همان بهشت موعود است
Work, as you have no need for money…. LOVE, as no one, never will hurt you….. Dance, as no one is watching you…. SING, as no one is hearing you; and LIVE, as this earth is the promised heaven.
If you liked this writing, publish it and send it for your friends, and if you do not do so, nothing will happen. But if you did, you will put a smile on someone’s lips.
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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God’s Press Conference

Jay Baba….finally my days away from ‘home’ are over and tomorrow will return to The Magic Hill, hands FULL, hopefully, meeting the challenge of finding a new place to live….. may write about these days later on….. This morning received the following and since it is just a ‘jewel’, kile to share it here….. enjoy it…………..Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

God’s Press Conference

Responding to recent events on Earth, God, theomniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions offollowers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humanskilling each other Monday.

“Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myselfcompletely clear, so for the record, here it isagain,” said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference. “Somehow,people keep coming up with the idea that I want themto kill their neighbor. Well, I don’t. And to behonest, I’m really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to killanyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, inreally simple terms that anybody ought to be able tounderstand.”

Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times overthe centuries as a reason to kill in what He called”an unending cycle of violence.”

“I don’t care how holy somebody claims to be,” Godsaid. “If a person tells you it’s My will that they kill someone, they’re wrong. Got it? I don’t care whatreligion you are, or who you think your enemy is, hereit is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyoneelse’s, ever again.”

The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. As amatter of longstanding policy, He has traditionallyleft the task of interpreting His message and divinewill to clerics, rabbis, priests, imams, and Biblical scholars. Theologians and laymen alike have been giventhe task of pondering His ineffable mysteries,deciding for themselves what to do as a matter offaith. His decision to manifest on the material planewas motivated by the deep sense of shock, outrage, andsorrow He felt over the violence carried out in Hisname, and over its dire ramifications around the globe.

“I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you’d get it straight, because Ithought it was pretty important,” said God, calledYahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslimtraditions. “I guess I figured I’d left no real roomfor confusion after putting it in a four-word sentencewith one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave toMoses. How much more clear can I get?”

“But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, nextthing you know, somebody’s spouting off some nonsenseabout, ‘God says I have to kill this guy, God wants meto kill that guy, it’s God’s will,'” God continued.”It’s not God’s will, all right? News flash: ‘God’s will’ equals ‘Don’t murder people.'”

Worse yet, many of the worst violators claim that their actions are justified by passages in the Bible,Torah, and Qur’an.”

To be honest, there’s some contradictory stuff in there, okay?” God said. “So I can see how it could bepretty misleading. I admit it-My bad. I did My best toinspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents havemisinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic,doctrinal bull. I turn My head for a second and,suddenly, all this stuff about homosexuality gets intoLeviticus, and everybody thinks it’s God’s will tokill gays. It absolutely drives Me up the wall.”

God praised the overwhelming majority of His followersas “wonderful, pious people,” calling the perpetratorsof Holy Wars as rare exceptions.

“This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but vanished from the Muslim world in,like, the 10th century, and with good reason,” Godsaid. “There’s no such thing as a holy war, onlyunholy ones.”

Continued God, “Read the book: ‘Allah is kind, Allah is beautiful, Allah is merciful.’ It goes on and onthat way, page after page. But, no, some idiots haveto come along and revive this stupid holy-war bolognajust to further their own hateful agenda. So now, people are killing Sikhs because they wear a “turban”thinking they are Muslims.”

God stressed that His remarks were directed at anyonewhose ideological zealotry overrides his or herability to comprehend the core message of all world religions.

“I don’t care what faith you are, everybody’s beenmaking this same mistake since the dawn of time,” Godsaid. “The Muslims massacre the Hindus, the Hindusmassacre the Muslims. And the Christians? You people believe in a Messiah who says, ‘Turn the other cheek,’but you’ve been killing everybody you can get yourhands on since the Crusades.”

Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: “Can’tyou people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, anddifferent cultures worship Me in different ways. Butthe basic message is always the same: Christianity,Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism… every religiousbelief system under the sun, they all say you’resupposed to love your neighbors, folks! It’s not thathard a concept to grasp.”

“Why would you think I’d want anything else? Humansdon’t need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other-you’ve been doing that without any help from Mesince you were freaking apes!” God said. “The wholepoint of believing in God is to have a higher standardof behavior. How obvious can you get?”

“I’m talking to all of you, here!” continued God, His voice rising to a shout. “Do you hear Me? I don’t wantyou to kill anybody. I’m against it, across the board.How many times do I have to say it? Don’t kill eachother anymore-ever! I’m serious!”

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments.Then, witnesses reported, God’s shoulders began toshake, and He wept.

edited from The Onion

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A Wife is A Wife, no matter WHO you are!


Jay Baba…. yesterday i had to go before posting what i satrted to write! today have come here, with my home-made lunch, to write/type more for all of us! But before starting, like to share this picture i have got this morning! Those who are/were married will appreciate this!

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Enough proof of my ‘madness’!

  1. ignore these numbers please!………this morning i got a message from an internet friend and since found it amusing, composed a letter to four of my ‘false family’ members
  2. (the one we come into WITHOUT our conscious will/wish)
  3. (my sister, cousin and two sons!) since it might be of some interest to my REAL FAMILY members (one i was blessed to choose to live/die with), i publish it here…

1. …._….(4/3/2006 6:13:00 PM): Salaam Mohsen aziz, gaahi be blog News of Loving sar mizanam va haalesho mibaram … droood bar to ey zaa’er e rah’e eshgh. .. raasti mikhaastam bedaanam dar english طي الارض chist? …. ayaa kalame ee daarad? baraaye hame chiz sepaas. with love, Nima

2……: khastam be khatere in ke neveshte haye osho ro tarjome mikonid va dar ekhtiyar digaran gharar midi tashakor konam
……: man ke vaghean estefade mibaram
…….: dar vaghe ashnayi man az osho kheyli kame va avalin neveshtei ke baes shod ke nazaram jalb beshe
elahe kalashloo: ke farmodan hich vaght daghdagheye in ro nadashte bash ke che etefaghi gharare biyofte in mohem nist ke barande shavi ya bazande mohem ine ke chetor bazi koni

i played ‘fair’ and LOVELY, so, despite of all the ‘hardship’ (Doesn’t Hafiz says that this PATH is easy at the beginning but……. Ofdad Moshkel ha ….????) i survived so far, Thanks to Meher Baba and the rest of the Existence….. (including you too!)
(who would like to ‘encode’ the finglish part?

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The Force of Lust!


EVERYWHERE!

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