Tag Archives: Energy
by Bhagwan (Osho)
Press Conference 1st of August 1986
They tried every means to destroy us. Poor Sheela has nothing to do with it. She certainly became a victim. I have all compassion for her. It has to be understood you can become entangled. All the telephones from the commune were taped. I was in isolation and in silence. Sheela was my secretary and the president of the commune. Seeing that all the telephones are taped she started taping the telephones that were coming from outside.
And found that the government, FBI, CIA, the other government agencies had their agents in the commune hiding as Sannyasins who go on giving information. She was not a criminal! When I had chosen her as the president of the commune she was an innocent woman of great intelligence. But the American politicians destroyed her innocence.
Whatever they were doing she had to do as a counter-effect, as a defence. All her crimes are basically crimes of American politicians which she repeated. Just to save the commune. I have nothing but compassion and sadness for her. She is not a criminal! And whatever she did, there was no bad intention in it.
She had even bugged my own room. She has bugged 200 houses. Naturally, logically it seems that she was even trying to find out what I do in my privacy, what I say in my privacy. That is not true! The truth is she wanted to be alert, because I lived in a house alone. If in the night anybody opens the doors which were of glasses her bugging will inform her immediately. She could reach there. It was for my protection, not against me.
She never did anything against me or against the commune.
But now she can be interpreted. And because of the interpreters she starts replying these interpreters and journalists in the same tone. She had not the genius to say the truth: that “I had bugged Bhagwan’s house for his protection.” But I know!
She would have died for me. She had loved me.
Not the kind of love you have shown me. Your love is simply cunning.
Osho stole my heart
Laura – that was what my college degree was in although at Texas University
i did mostly sculpturing and pottery- graduating Magna Cum Laude- big deal!!!
i couldn’t even get a job afterward – instead i work as a newspaper reporter, salesclerk in a discount store and worked on the shrimp-boats off of the Texas coast- and then i got a job working for the Texas Highway Dept. setting out traffic counters all over the state..
It was a great job and allow me a lot of freedom to paint meditate etc. in fact it was a stroke of luck that i was able to find Osho. But in Houston i was taking some yoga classes down off of Westimer blvd. and there was a bookstore close to the yoga center and the lady who was running the store – kind of like me and she mentioned one of Osho’s books and said that i should buy it and since i was starting to practice meditation i bought it mostly just to please her ( woman have so much control over us guys!)
i bought two books and took them with me on my vacation down to Ecuador South America- in search i was for an enlightened being- the guy turned out to be a big egoist. Anyway the next year off to India and Osho stole my heart- 27 years ago now- the love affair continues. …
2004/11/2002 / 01:44 PM
… yes it is a reality and not the TRUTH. Sad, but a ‘reality’!
they have deleted me from their list and my translations will never be published in Iran (with the same regime!) apparently the popular Raaz (Osho on Sufism) has caused Osho’s books to be banned from publication and reprint-permits for the last six months and ‘they’ think i am the cause of it. They even think that i wanted the book cover to have a picture of Osho, while i had NO role in it and i had not seen any drafts before actual publication.
But they see me ‘responsible’ for it!!!!!!!!!
What to do? He gave me very clear direct warning that they may do ‘legal’ things and with ‘one phone call’, i can be ‘deported’ very easily without ANY Human Right Issue! This is India! Yes, this is a sad reality too. But where can you live? On the OCEANS?, as Osho suggested! Is there any place where you can tell the truth and face not the harsh consequences? I guess not? Do you see anywhere on this globe?
So that is why, we need to come up with a ‘new plan’ to go on doing the same thing without involving osho here.(directly).
Human ‘laws’ can be ugly and cruel, yet Dhamma is never unjust. We shall see which ‘law’ prevails. Making money and becoming powerful in establishment is ‘legal’ but spreading the uncensored words of Osho is a ‘sin’, with grave ‘punishments’! But i do not want to be a ‘sinner’ anymore to face the punishment. It is Not the time yet.
So as Raghu said, i make it into a ‘meditation’ and use this ‘passive nature’ of mine more deeply. Now i need to make basic changes in my life style and am grateful to them who made me do it by warning! Of course we just met by pure synchronization and only a ‘divine plan’ for me to get the point, BEFORE it was too late! Like the ‘print job the other day!
Ok. I surrender to the Will of existence, Amrito being one part of it!…
“Ego is the basic problem, the most basic. And unless you solve it, nothing is solved. Unless ego is disappears, the ultimate cannot penetrate you.
The ego is like a closed door. The guest is standing outside; the guest has been knocking, but the door is closed. Not only is the door closed, but the ego goes on interpreting. It says: there is nobody outside, no guest has come, nobody has knocked, just a strong wind is knocking at the door. It goes on interpreting from the inside without looking at the fact. And the door remains closed. By interpretations, even the possibilities of its opening becomes less and less. And the moment comes when you are completely closed in your own ego. Then all sensitivity is lost. Then you are not an opening, and you cannot have a meeting with existence. Then you are almost dead, the ego becomes your grave.
This is the most basic problem. If you solve it, everything is solved. There is no need to seek God. There is no need to seek truth. If the ego is not there, suddenly everything is found, if the ego is not there, you simply come to know that truth has always been around you, without and within. It was the ego which wouldn’t allow you to see it. It was the ego that was closing your eyes and your being. So the first thing to be understood is what this ego is.
A child is born, a child is born without any knowledge, any consciousness of his own self. And when a child is born, the first thing he becomes aware of is not himself. The first thing he becomes aware of is the other. It is natural, because the eyes open outwards; the hand touch others, the ears listen to others, the tongue open outwards, that is what birth means. Birth means coming into this world, the world of outside.
So when a child is born he is born into this world. He opens his eyes, sees others. ‘Other’ means the ‘thou’. He becomes aware of the mother first. Then, by and by, h becomes aware of his own body. That too is the other, that too belongs to the world. He is hungry and he feels the body; his need is satisfied, he forgets the body. This is how a child grows. First he becomes aware of you, thou, the other, and then by and by, in contrast to you, thou, he becomes aware of himself. This awareness is a reflected awareness. He is not aware of who he is. He is simply aware of the mother and what she thinks about him. If she smiles, if she appreciates the child, if she says. “You are beautiful,” if she hugs and kisses him, the child feels good about himself.
Now an ego is born. Through appreciation, love, care, he feels he is good, he feels he is valuable, he feels he has some significance. A center is born, but this center is a reflected center, it is not his real being. He does not know who he is, he simply knows what others think about him. And this is the ego: the reflection __ what others think. If nobody thinks that he is of any use, nobody appreciates him, nobody smiles, then too an ego is born __ an ill ego: sad, rejected, like a wound, feeling inferior, worthless. This too is the ego. This too is a reflection. First the mother __ and the mother means the world in the beginning __ then others will join the mother, and the world goes on growing. And the more the world grows, the more complex the ego becomes, because many others’ opinions are reflected.
The ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living with others. If a child lives totally alone he will never come to grow an ego. But that is not going to help, he will remain like an animal. That does not mean that he will come to know the real self, no. the real can be known only through the false, so ego is a must. One has to pass through it. It is a discipline, the real can be known only through the illusion. You cannot know the truth directly: first you have to know that which is not true. First you have to encounter the untrue. Through that encounter you become capable of knowing the truth. If you know the false as the false, truth will dawn upon you.
Ego is a need; it is a social need, it is a social by-product. ‘Society’ means all that is around you __ not you, but all that is around you, all, minus you, is the society, and everybody reflects. You will go to school and the teacher will reflect who you are. You will be in friendship with other children and they will reflect who you are. By and by, everybody is adding to your ego, and everybody is trying to modify it is such a way that you don’t become a problem to the society.
They are not concerned with you, they are concerned with the society. Society is concerned with itself, and that’s how it should be. They are not concerned that you should become a self-knower; they are concerned that you should become an efficient part in the mechanism of the society. You should fit into the pattern, so they are trying to give you and ego that fits with the society. They teach you morality: morality means giving you an ego which will fit with the society. If you are immoral you will always be a misfit somewhere or other.
That’s why we put criminals in the prisons __ not that they have done something wrong, not that by putting them in prisons we are going to improve them, no. they simply don’t fit. They are troublemakers, they have certain types of egos of which the society doesn’t approve. If the society approves, everything is good.
One man kills somebody, he is a murderer, and the same man in wartime kills thousands __ he becomes a great hero. The society is not bothered by a murder, but the murder should be committed for the society __ then it is ok. The society doesn’t bother about morality. Morality means only that you should fit with the society, if the society is at war, then the morality changes. If the society is at peace, then there is a different morality.
Morality is a social politics, it is a diplomacy. And each child has to be brought up in such a way that he fits into society, that’s all, because society is interested in efficient members. Society is not interested that you should attain to self-knowledge. Society is always against religion. Hence, the crucifixion of Jesus, the murder of Socrates __ because they also didn’t fit.
Two types of people don’t fit. One: someone who has developed an anti-social ego; he will never fit. But he can be put on trial, there is that possibility, you can torture that man, you can punish him and he may come to his senses, the torture may be too much and he may be converted. Then there is another type of man who is impossible for the society __ a Jesus. He is not a criminal but he has no ego. How can you make a man who has no ego fit? He looks absolutely irresponsible but he is not: he has a greater commitment to God. He has no commitment to the society. One who is committed to God doesn’t bother; he has a different depth of morality. It doesn’t come from codes, it comes from his self-knowledge.
But then a problem arises, because societies have created their moral codes. Those moral codes are man-made. Whenever a Jesus or a Buddha happens, he doesn’t bother about the man-made conventions. He has a greater commitment; he is involved with the whole. Each moment he decides his response through his awareness, not through conditioning; so nobody knows about him, about what he will do. He is unpredictable.
Societies can forgive criminals but they cannot forgive Jesus and Socrates __ that’s impossible. And these people are almost impossible. You cannot do anything about them because they are not wrong. And if you try to understand them, they will convert you __ you cannot convert them. So it is better to kill them immediately. The moment the society becomes aware it kills them immediately, because if you listen to them there is danger __ if you listen to them you will be converted, and there is no possibility of converting them, so it is better to be completely finished, to have no relationship with them. You cannot put them in prison because there also they will remain in relationship with the society, they will exist, just their existence is too much __ they have to be murdered. And then, when priests take over, then there is no problem. Then pope of the Vatican is part of the society; Jesus never was.
That is the difference between a sect and a religion. Religion is never part of any society, it is universal, it is existential, and very very dangerous. You cannot find a more dangerous man than a religious man, because his revolution is so absolute that there is no possibility for any compromise with him. And because he is so absolutely certain __ he knows what he is doing __ you cannot convert him. And he is infectious: if he is there he will spread like a disease, he will infect many people.
Jesus had to be killed. Christianity can be accepted, but not Christ. What is Christianity? Christianity is society’s effort to replace Christ. Christ is dangerous, so society creates Christianity around him. Christianity is okay, the priest is okay __ the prophet is dangerous, that’s why three hundred religions exist on the earth, how can there be three hundred religions? Science is one. You cannot have a Catholic science and a Protestant science; you cannot have a Mohammedan science and a Hindu science. Science is one __ how can religions be three hundred?
Truth cannot be sectarian. Truth is one and universal, only one religion exist, Buddha belongs to that religion, Jesus belongs to that religion, Krishna, Mohhamed, they all belong to that religion. And then there are three hundred religions __ these are false religions, these are tricks the society has played with you, these are substitutes, imitations.
Look: Jesus is crucified on the cross, and what is the pope of the Vatican doing? He has a gold cross around his neck. Jesus is hung on the cross, and around the pope’s neck the cross is hanging, and it is a gold cross. Jesus had to carry his own cross; that cross was not golden, how can crosses be golden? His was very very heavy. He fell while carrying it on the hillock of Golgotha, under the weight he fell, he fainted. Have you seen any priest fainting under the weight of the golden cross? No, it is false substitute, it is a trick. Now this is no longer religion, this is part of the social politics. Christianity is politics Hinduism is politics, Buddhism is politics. Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, they are not social at all. They are not anti-social __ they are beyond society.
So there are two dangers for the society: anti-social people, criminals; you can tackle them. They may be dangerous but something can be done about them; they are not dangerous. Then there is a group of people which is beyond society. They are impossible, you cannot change them, they will not be ready to make any compromise.
The society creates an ego because the ego can be controlled and manipulated. The self can never be controlled and manipulated. Nobody has ever heard of the society controlling a self __ not possible. And the child needs a center; the child is completely unaware of his own center. The society gives him a center, and the child is by and by convinced that this is his center, the ego that society gives.
A child goes back to his home. If he has comes first in his class, the whole family is happy. You hug and kiss him and you take the child on your shoulders and dance and you say, “what a beautiful child! You are a pride for us.” You are giving him an ego, a subtle ego. And if the child goes home dejected, unsuccessful, a failure, he couldn’t pass, or he has just been on the back bench, then nobody appreciates him and the child feels dejected. He will try hard next time, because the center feels shaken.
Ego is always shaken, always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That’s why you are continuously ask for attention. That’s why ego has always been a misery. If the husband comes into the room and doesn’t look at his wife, there is trouble. If he is more interested in his newspaper there is trouble __ how dare you be more interested in the newspaper when your wife is there? If a man is very very great, then his wife is always a problem. The contrary will also be so: if a wife is very very great, her husband will be a problem. Ask the wives of great men __ because a great man has many deeper things to do. A Socrates,,,, he was more interested in meditation than in his wife, and that was a wound. Socrates’ wife was continuously nagging. He was more attentive to somewhere else __ “something is more important than me?” __ and this shakes the ego.
I have heard: Mulla Nasruddin and his wife were coming out from a cocktail party, and Mulla said, “Darling has anybody ever said to you how fascinating, how beautiful, how wonderful you are?”
His wife felt very very good, was very happy. She said, “I wonder why nobody has ever told me this?”
Nasruddin said, “Then from where did you get this idea?”
You get the idea of who you are from others. It is not a direct experience, it is from others that you get the idea of who you are. They shape your center. This center is false. You carry your real center __ that’s nobody’s business; nobody shapes it, you come with it, you are born with it.
So you have two centers. One center you come with, which is given by existence itself; that is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego; it is a false thing. And it is a very great trick: through the ego the society is controlling you. You have to behave in a certain way, because only then does the society appreciates you, you have to walk in a certain way, you have to laugh in a certain way, you have to follow certain manners, a morality, a code. Only then will the society appreciates you, and if it doesn’t, your ego will be shaken.
And when the ego is shaken you don’t know where you are, who you are. The others have given you the idea. That idea is the ego.”
Osho, Returning To The Source, pp 101-107
This always happens: when I say something, I create two groups of people around me. One group will be exoteric. They will organise, they will do many things concerned with society, with the world that is without; they will help preserve whatever I am saying.The other group will be more concerned with the inner world. Sooner or later the two groups are bound to come in conflict with one another because their emphasis is different.
The inner group, the esoteric mind, is concerned with something quite different from the exoteric group. And, ultimately, the outer group will win, because they can work as a group.
The esoteric ones cannot work as a group; they go on working as individuals. When one individual is lost,something is lost forever.This happens with every teacher.
Ultimately the outergroup becomes more and more influential; it becomes an establishment. The first thing an establishment has todo is to kill its own esoteric part, because the esoteric group is always a disturbance. Because ofheresy, Christianity has been destroying all that is esoteric…
These are intrinsic problems – they happen, and you cannot do anything about it.
“The Great Challenge, 1972
“….On this journey, a very firm resolve is needed. The conscious mind where all the thought processes take place is only a small part; the rest of the mind is still deeper. If we were to divide the mind into ten parts, the conscious mind would be only one part, the other nine parts are the unconscious mind. Our thinking and reasoning take place in only one part, but the rest of the brain is not aware of this. The rest of the brain has no sense of it. When we make a conscious resolution to meditate, to enter into samadhi, ultimate bliss, the major part of our brain remains ignorant of this resolution. This unconscious part will not support us in this resolution. But if we don’t get support from it we cannot succeed. To get the support, a determined, conscious effort is needed. I will now explain how to make this conscious effort.
When you wake up, let it be with determination, and at night when you go to bed, when you lie down on your bed, think over your resolution for five minutes and repeat it to yourself as you go to sleep.
I would like to explain this exercise for becoming determined, and you will be practicing it here as well as in your normal life. As I explained, with this resolution your whole mind, conscious and unconscious both, is to decide that, “I will be silent, I am determined to experience meditation.”
The night Gautam Buddha attained enlightenment, he was sitting under his bodhi tree and he said, “I will not get up from this place until I am enlightened.”
You might think, “But what is the connection?” But the resolution, “I will not…” spreads all through the body – and he did not get up until he became enlightened! Amazingly, he became enlightened the same night. And he had been trying for six years, but never before did he have such intensity.
I will give you a small exercise to intensify your resolve. We will do this exercise here and also at night before sleeping.
If you exhale completely and then stop yourself from inhaling, what will happen? If I exhale completely and them pinch my nose shut and don’t inhale, what will happen? In a little while my total being struggle to inhale. Won’t every pore of my body and those millions of cells scream for air? The longer I try to hold my breath, the deeper the longing for breath is going to spread into my unconscious mind. The longer I hold my breath, the more the innermost part of my being is going to ask for air. And if I hold it to the last moment, my whole being will demand air. Now it is not a simple desire anymore; the top layer is not the only one affected. Now it has become a question of life and death; now the deeper layers, the layers underneath, are also going to demand more air.
In that moment, when you reach the state where your whole being is starving for air, you should repeat to yourself, “I am going to experience meditation.” In that moment, when your life is demanding air, you should repeat the thought, “I will enter into a state of silence. This is my resolution: I will experience meditation.” In this state, your mind should repeat this thought; your body will ask for air and your mind will repeat this thought. The stronger the demand for air, the deeper your resolution will enter inside. And if your whole being is struggling and you are repeating this sentence, then the strength of your resolution will increase many times over. In this way it will reach to your unconscious mind.
You will be making this resolution every day before the daily meditation, and at night you will do it before going to sleep. Repeat the sentence, and then go to sleep. When you are falling asleep, at that moment also let it be constantly ringing in your mind: “I will experience meditation. This is my resolution. I will enter into silence.”
This resolution should go on ringing in your mind so that you don’t even realize when you are falling asleep. In sleep your conscious mind is inactive and the doors are open for the unconscious mind. If your mind repeats this idea again and again while the conscious mind is inactive, it can then enter the subconscious mind. And in time you will observe a significant change __ you will see it even in these three days. So now try to understand the method by which you can strengthen the resolution.
This is the way to do it: first take slow, deep breaths, filling yourself up, filling your lungs up as deeply as you can. When you have inhaled as much as you can, continue to hold the thought, “I will experience meditation”, and keep repeating this sentence. Then exhale, and at one point you will feel that there is no more air to exhale. But there is __ so throw that out too and repeat the sentence. Now you will feel that there is absolutely no more air left __ but still there is, so throw that out. Don’t be afraid: you will never exhale completely. That’s why, when you feel that there is no more breath left in you, there always is __ so try also to exhale that. Exhale as totally as you can, and keep repeating, “I will experience meditation.”
It is a strange phenomenon: through it a thought process is triggered in your unconscious mind. An intense resolve will arise and you will already see its effects tomorrow, so you have to make your resolution very strong. We will start the experiment before we leave this place this evening. You are to do it five times, that is, you should inhale and exhale five times and repeat the thought inside five times. If anyone has a heart problem, or any other problem, don’t do it strenuously, do it softly. Do it as gentle as possible, don’t make yourself uncomfortable.
I have talked about the will to experience. You must practice it every night during these three days, before sleeping. Lying on your bed, repeat the sentence as you gradually fall asleep. If you follow this process diligently and your voice reaches the unconscious, the result is easy to induce and is unmistakable.”
The Path of Meditation
من براي هرآنچه كه از تو گرفته ام سپاسگزارم. و گاهي نگه داشتن تمام اين ها براي شخص خودم
دشوار است __ ولي من به ماموريت تبليغي نمي روم. چه كنم؟
يك مامور تبليغ براساس ذهن عمل مي كند.
و ماموريت داشتن، تجربه ي لبريز شدن دل است.
تمايز اين دو دشوار است، ولي غيرممكن نيست. كسي كه مامور تبليغ است مي كوشد مردم را به چيزي متقاعد كند كه خودش به آن اعتقاد ندارد ___ زيرا چيزهايي كه او مايل است مردم را به آن ها معتقد كند، تجربه ي خودش نيستند.
يك مامور تبليغ فقط يك ماشين محاسب است كه دانشي را از يك نسل به نسل ديگر منتقل مي كند.
ولي ماموريت داشتن چيزي كاملاً متفاوت است. مسيح يك مامور تبليغ نيست. ولي پاپ لهستاني، هست.
مسيح يك ماموريت دارد. گوتام بودا يك ماموريت دارد. ماموريت داشتن يعني كه تو چيزي را تجربه كرده اي و اين خلاف مهر و عشق انساني است كه آن را با ديگران سهيم نشوي. مسئله ي گرواندن ديگران به يك دين خاص نيست، مسئله سهيم شدن است. بنابراين، ضرري وجود ندارد. اگر اين تجربه ي خودت است، آن را از پشت بام فرياد كن. اگر از دلت مي آيد، پس جلويش را نگير ___ زيرا هرچه بيشتر آن را منتشر كني‘ بيشتر ريشه مي گيرد. درست مانند يك درخت است: درخت شاخه هايش را در آسمان دور دست منتشر مي كند و در زير زمين، ريشه ها ژرف تر منتشر مي شوند.
اگر تجربه اي داري كه احساس مي كني قادر است تشنگي بسياري را فرو نشاند، آنگاه مخاطره كن __ فريادش بزن، آوازش بخوان، برقصش، هركاري كه مي تواني انجام بده. حتي اگر تمام دنيا فكر كند كه تو ديوانه اي، نگران نباش.
هرچه تجربه ات را بيشتر سهيم شوي در دلت عميق تر مي شود و قوي تر خواهد شد‘ فرديت تو به نيرويي عظيم تبديل خواهد شد. ولي هرگز يك مامور تبليغ نشو.
يك مامور تبليغ، يك مزدور است: خدمتكاري بيچاره __ درست مانند هر خدمتكار ديگر. او مزدي مشخص دريافت مي كند تا پيام انجيل را منتشر كند. او ذره اي به پيام توجه ندارد‘ تمام توجه او به مزدش است.
اگر كس ديگري حاضر باشد دوبرابر آن مزد را به او بدهد، او آماده است تا عليه انجيل سخن بگويد.
شنيده ام كه در يك كليسا، اسقفي بسيار نگران بود زيرا كه يكي از مسن ترين و ثروتمندترين اعضاي كليسا عادت داشت در حين موعظه به خواب برود __ درست مانند سوراج پراكاش! __ ولي در آنجا مثل اينجا خوابيدن و خروپف كردن مجاز نبود. و آن پيرمرد عادت داشت خروپف كند.
اسقف بسيار ناراحت بود زيرا آن مرد عادت داشت هميشه در جلوي او بنشيند.
عاقبت اسقف راهي پيدا كرد. آن پيرمرد عادت داشت هميشه با نوه اش كه پسربچه ي كوچكي بود به كليسا بيايد. روزي اسقف آن پسربچه را در گوشه اي تنها يافت و به او گفت، “آيا مي تواني كاري براي من بكني؟ من هر يكشنبه پنجاه سنت به تو مي دهم.”
پسر گفت، ” چه كاري؟”
اسقف گفت، “كار زيادي نيست. هروقت پدربزرگت شروع كرد به خروپف كردن، به او سقلمه اي بزن و بيدارش كن. خوابيدن او اشكالي ندارد، ولي مشكل اين است كه وقتي او خروپف مي كند تمام جمعيت از خواب بيدار مي شوند!”
پسر بچه گفت، ” قبوله، پول را قبلاً مي گيرم.” اسقف گفت، ” قبلاً مي گيري؟ تو ديگر كي هستي؟!
آيا مرا قبول نداري؟”
پسر گفت، ” معامله، معامله است. مسئله قبول داشتن نيست. اين ربطي به دين ندارد. فقط پنجاه سنت به من بده و يكشنبه ي آينده ببين چه مي كنم.”
و يكشنبه ي بعد پسربچه كارش را عالي انجام داد: نگذاشت پيرمرد بخوابد.
هروقت صداي خروپفش بلند مي شد، او را مي زد تا از خواب بيدار شود.
او به پسر بچه نگاه مي كرد و مي گفت، “تو را چه مي شود؟”
ولي پسر به او نگاه نمي كرد و تمام توجهش به موعظه ي اسقف بود و به اطراف كاملاً بي اعتنا بود.
وقتي بيرون آمدند پيرمرد گفت، “اي شيطان! چرا چنين كردي؟ من تمام شب را به سبب سن زيادم نمي خوابم. اين تنها وقتي در هفته است كه مي توانم بخوابم و تو مرا بيدار مي كردي. چه اتفاقي افتاده؟
در ذهنت چه مي گذرد؟ و تو چقدر مذهبي به نظر مي رسيدي! طوري گوش مي دادي كه گويي مي فهمي او چه مي گويد.”
پسر گفت، “مسئله مذهب درميان نيست. من براي اين كار پنجاه سنت دريافت مي كنم. اسقف براي اين هفته ي گذشته پنجاه سنت به من داده بود. و الان هم نزد او مي روم تا پنجاه سنت هفته ي بعد را بگيرم.”
پيرمرد گفت، ” صبر كن. من يك دلار به تو مي دهم به شرطي كه كاري با من نداشته باشي!”
پسرك گفت، ” قبوله، پيشاپيش پرداخت كن.”
يكشنبه ي بعد اسقف بسيار در حيرت بود. پسرك كاري با پيرمرد نداشت و صداي خروپف او همچنان بلند بود. با ايما و اشاره سعي كرد به پسرك يادآوري كند، ولي پسرك به همه جا نگاه مي كرد،
جز به اسقف!
اسقف فكرد كرد، ” حتماً چون پنجاه سنت را نگرفته كارش را انجام نمي دهد!”
پس از مراسم پسرك را در گوشه اي يافت و گفت، ” موضوع چيست؟ آيا پنجاه سنت هم مرا قبول نداري؟ بيا اين هم پنجاه سنت!”
پسرك گفت، ” مسئله اين نيست. پدربزرگم به من يك دلار مي دهد كه مزاحمش نشوم. حالا اگر بازهم مايلي… به خودت مربوط است!” اسقف گفت، ” من مردي فقير هستم اگر به اين ترتيب به تو پرداخت كنم و پدربزرگت دوبرابرش كند… او مردي ثروتمند است!”
پسر بچه گفت، ” معامله، معامله است. اگر نمي تواني بيش از يك دلار بدهي، آنوقت نه تنها پدربزرگم خروپف خواهد كرد‘ بلكه من نيز خرناس خواهم كشيد و آنوقت اغتشاش واقعي را خواهي ديد. آنوقت نه تنها بايد براي پدربزرگم پول بدهي، بلكه مجبوري براي من هم بدهي! جداگانه: پنجاه سنت براي من و يك دلار براي پدربزرگم!”
يك مامور تبليغ، نوكري بيچاره است. مسيحيت به او مزد مي دهد و او مسيحيت را باور دارد.
اگر ديگري به او بيشتر بدهد، براي او تبليغ خواهد كرد.
ولي انساني كه يك ماموريت دارد، پديده اي كاملاً متفاوت است __ نمي تواني او را تغيير بدهي.
مي تواني او را مصلوب كني، ولي نمي تواني او را تغيير بدهي.
باگوان عزيز، چرا هركس ميل دارد كسي كه نيست باشد؟
دليل روانشناختي اين تمايل چيست؟
نارندراNarendra ، همه از همان كودكي مورد سرزنش واقع شده اند. هرعمل كودك كه خودانگيخته و از روي تمايلاتش باشد، مورد پذيرش نيست. مردم، آن جمعيتي كه كودك در آن بايد رشد كند، مفاهيم و آرمان هاي خودش را دارد.
اين كودك است كه بايد با آن مفاهيم و آن آرمان ها خودش را وفق دهد. كودك موجودي ناتوان است.
آيا تاكنون در اين مورد انديشيده اي؟ ___ كودك انسان ناتوان ترين كودك در تمام خانواده ي حيوانات است.
تمام حيوانات مي توانند بدون حمايت والدين و جمعيت بقا يابند، ولي كودك انسان نمي تواند بدون حمايت ديگران زنده بماند، بي درنگ خواهد مرد. او ناتوان ترين مخلوق در دنيا است __ بسيار آسيب پذير و شكننده است.
طبيعي است كه كساني كه در قدرت هستند قادراند تا كودك را به هر ترتيب ممكن شكل بدهند.
بنابراين همه چيزي شده اند كه هستند، مخالف خودشان!
دليل روانشناختي اينكه هركسي ميل دارد آني باشد كه نيست، همين است.
همه در وضعيت شكاف شخصيتيschizophrenic به سر مي برند . هيچكس هرگز مجاز نبوده تا خودش باشد.
به هركس تحميل شده تا كسي باشد كه از بودن آن، خوشحال نيست.
بنابراين، همانطور كه شخص رشد مي كند و روي پاي خودش مي ايستد، شروع مي كند به تظاهركردن به خيلي چيزها كه ميل داشته در واقع بخشي از وجودش باشد. ولي در اين دنياي ديوانه، او از اين تمايل طبيعي منع شده است. به او تحميل شده تا مانند ديگري و ديگران باشد__ كسي كه او نيست. او اين را مي داند. همه اين را مي دانند __ كه به او تحميل شده كه پزشك شود يا مهندس شود، او با زور و فشار يك سياست كار شده يا يك جاني و يا يك گدا.
انواع فشارها در جامعه وجود دارد. در بمبئي مردمي وجود دارند كه تمام كسب آنان اين است كه كودكان را مي دزدند و آنان را افليج ، كور يا چلاق مي كنند و وادارشان مي كنند تا گدايي كنند و هرروز عصر، تمام پولي را كه جمع كرده اند به آنان بدهند. آري، به آنان خوراك داده مي شود و پناهگاهي دارند. از آنان همچون يك كالا بهره كشي مي كنند،
آنان موجودات انساني نيستند. اين يك افراط است، ولي اين به درجات كم يا زياد براي هر انسان روي مي دهد.
هيچكس با خودش راحت نيست.
در مورد يك جراح بسيار معروف شنيده ام كه در سن بازنشستگي بود. دانشجويان و همكاران بسياري داشت. در ميهماني بازنشستگي او، همه ي آنان جمع شده بودند و مي رقصيدند و آواز مي خواندند و خوش بودند. ولي او در گوشه اي تاريك غمگين ايستاده بود.
دوستي نزد او رفت و گفت، ” شما را چه مي شود؟ ما جشن گرفته ايم و شما در اين گوشه غمگين ايستاده ايد.
آيا نمي خواهيد بازنشسته شويد؟
شما هفتادوپنج سال داريد. پانزده سال پيش مي بايد بازنشسته مي شديد. ولي چون جراح بسيار قابلي هستيد، حتي در اين سن نيز كسي رقيب شما نيست. اينك با خيال راحت و با آسودگي بازنشسته شويد!”
او گفت، “در همين فكر بودم. اندوه من به اين سبب است كه والدينم مرا مجبور كردند كه جراح شوم. من مي خواستم يك آواز خوان بشوم و من عاشق اين بودم. حتي اگر يك آوازه خوان خيابان گرد مي شدم، دست كم خودم بودم. اينك يك جراح مشهور در دنيا هستم، ولي خودم نيستم. وقتي مردم مرا به عنوان يك جراح تحسين مي كنند، طوري گوش مي دهم كه گويي كس ديگري را تحسين مي كنند. من جايزه هايي برده ام و تشويق نامه هاي بسيار دارم ولي هيچكدام زنگ خوشحالي را در قلبم به صدا در نمي آورند ___ زيرا اين من نيستم. من فقط مي خواستم يك نوازنده ي فلوت باشم، حتي اگر مجبور مي شدم در خيابان گدايي كنم. ولي در آن صورت خوشبخت مي بودم.”
در اين دنيا فقط يك خوشبختي وجود دارد و آن خودبودن است.
و چون هيچكس خودش نيست، همه تلاش دارند تا پنهان كنند __ نقاب ها، تظاهرها و نفاق ها. آنان از آنچه كه هستند شرمگين اند.
ما اين دنيا را يك بازار كرده ايم نه يك باغ زيبا تا هركس مجاز باشد گل وجود خويشتن را به آن باغ آورد. ما گل مريم را وادار ساخته ايم تا گل سرخ به بار آورد ___ حالا گل مريم ازكجا گل سرخ بياورد؟ آن گل هاي سرخ، مصنوعي خواهند بود و گل هاي مريم، در اعماق دلشان خواهند گريست و شرمسار خواهند بود كه ” ما به قدر كافي شهامت نداشته ايم تا برعليه جمعيت عصيان كنيم.
آنان گل هاي مصنوعي را بر ما تحميل كرده اند و ما گل هاي واقعي خودمان را داريم كه عصاره هايمان براي آن جاري هستند. ولي قادر نيستيم تا گل هاي واقعي خود را نشان بدهيم.”
به شما همه چيز آموخته اند، ولي نياموخته اند تا خودتان باشيد.
اين زشت ترين نوع جامعه است زيرا همه را رنجور ساخته است.
در مورد يك استاد ادبيات در دانشگاه شنيده ام كه از دانشگاه بازنشسته مي شد. تمام استادهاي دانشگاه و دوستانش گردهم آمده بودند تا بازنشستگي او را جشن بگيرند. ولي ناگهان متوجه شدند كه او گم شده است.
يكي از دوستانش كه وكيل بود درپي او رفت… شايد به باغ رفته باشد.
ولي آنجا چه مي كرد؟ زير درختي نشسته بود.
اين وكيل نزديك ترين و قديمي ترين دوست او بود. از او پرسيد، “اينجا چه مي كني؟”
او گفت، ” اينجا چه مي كنم؟ يادت مي آيد پنجاه سال پيش را؟__ نزد تو آمدم و گفتم كه مي خواهم زنم را به قتل برسانم؟
و تو گفتي« چنين كاري نكن وگرنه پنجاه سال در زندان خواهي بود.» در اين فكر هستم كه اگر به حرف تو گوش نداده بودم، امروز از زندان بيرون آمده بودم و آزاد بودم.
من چنان خشمگين هستم كه گاهي اوقات ميل پيدا مي كنم …. چرا دست كم، تو را نكشم؟! اينك من هفتادوپنج سال دارم.
حتي اگر مرا به پنجاه سال زندان محكوم كنند، نمي توانند مرا پنجاه سال در زندان نگه دارند. من ظرف پنج يا هفت سال خواهم مرد. ولي تو يك دوست نبودي، تو ثابت كردي كه بزرگترين دشمن من هستي!”
بودن آنگونه كه نمي خواهي باشي، بودن با كسي كه نمي خواهي با او باشي و انجام كاري كه نمي خواهي انجام بدهي، پايه و اساس تمام مصيبت هاي شماست.
و جامعه از يك سو ترتيبي داده كه همه رنجور باشند و از سويي ديگر همان جامعه از شما انتظار دارد كه رنج خود را نشان ندهيد ___ دست كم نه در حضور جمع، نه آشكارا. اين يك امر خصوصي است!
جامعه رنج را آفريده است ___ و اين در واقع، به همه مربوط است، نه اينكه يك امر خصوصي باشد. همان جامعه كه تمام دلايل مصيبت را در تو خلق كرده، نهايتاً به تو مي گويد، “رنج تو مربوط به خودت است، ولي وقتي بيرون مي آيي، با لبخند بيرون بيا. چهره ي مصيبت بارخودت را به مردم نشان نده!”
و اين را آداب معاشرت و فرهنگ مي خوانند. اين در اساس، نفاق است.
و تا زماني كه فرد تصميم نگيرد كه، “من خودم خواهم بود، به هر قيمتي. چه مورد سرزنش باشم، چه قبولم نكنند و به من احترام نگذارند…..
همه چيز خوب است ولي من نمي توانم تظاهر كنم كه كس ديگري هستم.” اين تصميم و اين اعلام ___ اين اعلام آزادي، آزادي از وزنه ي جمع، ___ به وجود طبيعي تو، به فرديت تو زايشي دوباره مي بخشد.
آنگاه نيازي به نقاب نداري. آنگاه مي تواني به سادگي خودت باشي، درست همانطور كه هستي.
ولحظه اي كه بتواني فقط خودت باشي، آرامشي عظيمي كه وراي ادراك است تو را فرا خواهد گرفت.